Obviously, Ella Mills, nee Woodward, is the queen of all things wellness, having cured herself of a rare illness and the rest of us of our collective scrofula. However, I don’t hold with her penchant for concocting “sweet treats” – the very phrase is nausea inducing – witness her recent chocolate caramel bars (http://deliciouslyella.com/chocolate-caramel-bars/).
Maple syrup is still sugar, even if it feels more tree-hugging than the white stuff, and the more candy killer one consumes, the more one wants. This even works with chocolate – celebrated everywhere as some intrinsic female fetish. Ditch it for six weeks and you’ll never crave it again.
I did this in my teens and never looked back. Until recently, that is, when my parents started dying, I’d renounced alcohol, and a quick snort of the raw stuff proved primally soothing.
If I can’t get hold of raw, then I’ll set for Pret a Manger’s Sea Salted Dark Chocolate Bar (136 calories, 10.2g of sugar).* Pret’s Chocolatey Coconut Bite is pretty pleasing too – a sort of vegan Bounty Bar (205 calories, 7.7g of sugar). Both are rich, hedonic, and hit that: “I need instant pleasure or my head will implode” spot. Still, outside of weeks when people actually kick the bucket, I try to confine myself to period time only.
Booze-free beer is pretty ghastly. However, ice-cold Bavaria 0.0 gets nearest the real deal and is a snip at just under 50p a can at Ocado. It’s also 79 calories per 330ml rather than the usual 140ish so even those who aren’t former boozehounds may feel it’s a better option beer belly wise. They serve it at Pizza Express, which makes the experience almost tolerable.
Other forms of cheapish cheer: Epsom salt baths; strawberries for breakfast; The National Gallery; Kneipp bath oils; Gail’s Quinoa Sourdough; ASOS deliveries; Twinings Decaffeinated Earl Grey; The Collected Dorothy Parker; Better You Magnesium Oil; Natora tomatoes; Rimmel lipstick; Radio 4 detective dramas (Poirot, Marple, or Wimsey); boiled eggs; Citalopram.
*NB I realise that nutrition is considerably more complicated than calorie counting, but it does provide something of a steer, not least when we are increasingly lardarsed.